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For the Thorpe family, dinner time is important parenting time 鈥� a time when parents Julie and John can focus on supporting and developing their children as balanced people, not just developing triathletes.

The Spanish have a word for it: sobremesa.听 It translates as 鈥榦ver the table鈥�, but what it really means is 鈥榗onversations at mealtime鈥�. Researchers have confirmed what Julie Thorpe knows instinctively:听 dinner time is important parenting time鈥�

鈥淲e鈥檙e a family who eats together,鈥� Julie says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important. It provides the opportunity to talk about what鈥檚 going on for the children: how they are doing and what they might need.鈥� Julie and John Thorpe鈥檚 children are the triathletes Ainsley and Trent (and their older brother, Marcel).听

Sport was a big part of Thorpe family life from early on. Marcel was into athletics and so they all went along: Ainsley is no doubt embarrassed that her mother is still telling people how she won her first race, at age two, in nappies. At school, the children were into any sport that was on offer: softball, cricket, netball, rugby, touch.听 When Trent was 10, at a swim meet, Julie and John were told he鈥檇 just achieved the qualifying time for the nationals.

鈥淚t became obvious early that they were good,鈥� says Julie, 鈥淲e鈥檝e always encouraged them to do their best and be competitive in whatever they are doing, but it鈥檚 always up to them what they do and how far they want to go.

Our role is to provide support and, if necessary, we help them reassess. When Ainsley broke her shoulder last year, I said to her, 鈥榠f you don鈥檛 want to do this anymore, that鈥檚 absolutely fine with us. It鈥檚 your decision.鈥欌��

鈥淲hen they became part of the 爆料社区 Pathway to Podium programme, that helped us a lot. It meant we could step back from supporting their development as athletes and leave that to Bruce, Jan and Jana*听who have the expertise in the different disciplines and who take responsibility for their strength and conditioning. Our role became providing everything else they need: 听financial support, emotional support, help with planning and organisation and鈥攁bove all, perhaps鈥攑roviding a stable base.听 With their development as athletes taken care of, our focus as parents is their development as people.鈥澨�

鈥淲hen they are home, and we sit down together as a family for a meal,鈥� says Julie, 鈥渋t鈥檚 about much more than topping up their food intake. That鈥檚 when we can talk about how they are coping, what help they need and how to prioritise. Something we鈥檝e discussed has been their life after tri. As a result, Ainsley and Trent are both studying at AUT: apart from having something to go on to later, they need something other than tri to think about now.鈥�

It鈥檚 not unusual in New Zealand for sport to be part of the sobremesa: the conversation over the dinner table. In a select few households, however, sport becomes a much more important conversation.听 When children become high-performance athletes, their parents are required to become high-performance parents. In those families, as the Italians would say, 鈥渓a vita 猫 una combinazione di magia e pasta鈥�: life is a combination of magic鈥�and pasta.

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*Pathway to Podium coaches, Bruce Hunter, Jan Reyneke and Jana Wilkitzi